Why I Am Married

AKA: Why you shouldn't listen to Terry McMillan.

Ms. McMillan wrote an article to single women listing 6 reasons why they are not married. As a former single woman and a friend to many current single women, I felt compelled to share my opinions on where she went wrong.

You can catch her article here.

As an aside, while I may not have as much marriage experience as Ms. McMillan (her: 3, me: 1) these opinions are mine and mine alone. Yours may vary. Maybe you agree with her. That's TOTES fine.

1. You're a bitch. - What she says is that you're angry and men don't like angry women. And it's true (hear me out before wandering off). Men don't like women that are angry all the time. At them. I've been pissed at E plenty of times. He's been pissed at me once or twice. It's OK to be angry. At your partner, at injustice in the world, at the 2 people who still think Sarah Palin is totally right. However, if you're mad at him all the time, maybe you deserve better.

2. You're shallow. - Um, no. While most women I know have preferences, most of us are willing to compromise on those preferences. For instance, I like men who are tall with dark hair and blue eyes. Instead I married a man who is tall with dark hair and dark eyes. Most women I know ended their shallow dating years in their early 20's. Unless you're considering women who prize things like compassion and employment as shallow.

3. You're a slut. - I am not going to get into this, my mom reads my blog. Suffice to say if you want to dooooo it, be safe about it. I heard earlier today that 1 in 93 people in the large town I live in are HIV+.

4. You're a liar. - She means the "I'm going to pretend to like casual sex in order to get you to have a relationship with me" kind of lie. Not the "I'm secretly a Russian spy which is why I disappear for months at a time kind of lie." Ms. Macmillan, turn off the TV, set down the remote, and step away from that romantic comedy/tv show about a group of women. You're talking to real women, not Carrie Bradshaw*.

5. You're selfish.- Ok, um, HELLO! Being single without kids is the PERFECT time to be completely selfish. Because, trust me, as someone on the other side, there is a 99% reduction in selfishness once the husband and babies come along. Enjoy it while you can. Blow your allotted savings on that cute pair of heels, make food only you enjoy, sleep until noon every Saturday. For me. I can't name one single person who doesn't engage in "selfish behavior." Except maybe Mother Theresa, and she sure as hell wasn't looking to get married.

6. You're not good enough.- Ms. McMillan thinks you're good enough, but she thinks you don't think that. I will say that while I don't believe that all single women thinks this, if you are one of those women, you ARE good enough. Take it from someone who through no great effort on my part, aside from saying yes at the right times (to will you go out with me, will you marry me, etc. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER), ended up with a pretty kick-ass husband who lets me be myself and still tells me when I'm out of line: YOU. ARE. GOOD. ENOUGH. Hell, it's not even about being "good enough" to get married. Charlie Sheen's been "good enough" to get married 3 times. The longer I live the more I'm convinced it's about dumb luck.

So there you have it. Discuss.

*Who, while certainly entertaining with cute shoes, is most definitely NOT real.