One month

Dear Audrey:
Yes, I know, you turned one month old almost a week ago. But, as you will soon realize, as much as mama likes to envision herself as a modern day working mom Gloria Steinem meets Martha Stewart, she is just a teensy bit lazy mixed with a hint of procrastinator. Hence taking the birthing class a mere 3 weeks before you made your arrival.

The early morning that you were born I remember looking at you in my arms. I felt as though I knew you well (you did hang out in my uterus for 40 weeks and 3 days) but at the same time you were now a stranger to me, a separate being with your own likes, dislikes, and personality separate from your mama. But I felt this primal bond with you knowing that if anyone dared to try and hurt you they would be in for a serious @$$ whooping (mama does have a white trash streak as well).

Now, one month later here you are, sitting in your bouncer, looking around at the living room, babbling and drooling. I feel as though we know each other better. You and I have some similar likes (cooking, reading, eating, sleeping) and yet you also like things mama doesn't (drooling, football). Maybe you get these things from your daddy (haha). I could literally spend all day watching you develop; picking your head up, smiling, discovering your hands and fingers (and thumbs, might as well start saving for the orthodontist bill now)

I hope that as you grow you continue to see my love for you. I think you understand it now in small ways; the way you smile at me when I talk to you, the way you nuzzle into my neck when we're snuggling. You are so happy and so content, I often wonder what I did to deserve you. I will tell you this repeatedly throughout your life: you are amazing, beautiful, strong, and intelligent!

My hope is that you continue to believe this as you get older. I don't want you to fall into the trap that mama and Gigi and so many other women have fallen into with hating themselves and their bodies. You are so much more than the number on the tag of your clothes (yes, they have numbers, your clothes won't always say Newborn). You are, as one wise man has said "fearfully and wonderfully made."

I'll be honest with you, my love. It took me having you to start to appreciate myself. I mean, how could I not? My body made you (well, daddy helped and if you want to know more about this, go ask him), cared for you, fed you, protected you, and brought you into this world without the assistance of medication (I had to throw that in, I still can't believe I did that). And look how well you turned out! Our own little evolutionary process.

Anyways, enough on the soap box. You'll get plenty more of these talks in the future. I've got to end this now, you're staring at your toes so intently I must get a picture!

I'm so glad I had you,
Mama