Dear Liz Lange Maternity:
May I just start by saying, I tend to love your clothes. Particularly your dresses. Before I got knocked up I would often find myself in your section thinking, "Oooh, how cute. Crap. Maternity."
Let me ask you a question, Liz. What exactly is it that you think these pregnant women you market to DO all day? I wonder what you think. Maybe it's kosher for you to go to work in shorts, workout pants, and jean capris? Oh what am I saying, you own your own business. You could come to work buck naked and no one would dare complain.
Well, I work in the real world and I can say that these types of pants are against State Regulation. (but I know that Certain People don't have to play by the same rules. Like a Certain Republican Governor that didn't show up to work for several days and continues to be employed. Just not showing up is, as you guessed, against State Regulation. Unless you're a governor.)
So I was looking for a pair of affordable maternity work pants and, as you can guess, came up with nada. This was quite bothersome to me.
Now, on to your dresses. Or maybe I should say, dress. I am going to a wedding next month. I want something that is cute and shows off my huge knockers. Oh, and my baby bump. What do you show me? A cotton/poly blend garbage bag with a sweetheart neckline. In black. Now, I know black is slimming but this is (almost) July. In East Texas. Clearly you are not from around these parts.
And another thing! Don't you know that most women need maternity PANTS long before they need maternity SHIRTS? Why oh why do you have a grand total of 5 different types of pants (none of which I can wear to work) and many shirts? That's just cruel.
I will, however, give you the benefit of a doubt. Maybe I just went to the wrong store. Maybe you are between shipments. Maybe you are getting ready to launch your late summer line? Either way, Liz, I'm very disappointed in you.
Very Truly Yours,
Big De
Not to mention a certain democratic president who commited perjury while in office and yet continued unscathed in doing whatever it was he did in 8 years.
ReplyDeleteI've got to say I didn't have much Liz but I did have a lot of Motherhood Maternity stuff. The dresses, coats, and shirts are adorable. Plus in the dressing room they had little pouches filled with cotton that you could strap to your waistline that added 3 months of pregnancy or so. It was better than putting my hands up my shirt and pushing the fabric outward to see if the item of clothing would fit for more than a day. They do have a website so just google them :) Pants are just damn difficult to find anywhere. Near the end I was down to three pairs. I actually found some at Younkers-imagine that. Hang in there. Can you wear skirts? I wished I would have had that option. No skirts in February in Wisconsin :(
ReplyDelete