You let your boy buy what???

One of the things I love about S is his way with words. A movie theater used to be a movie-ator, a banana used to be a beena, and chapstick used to be lip chap. I know "experts" will tell you to correct your child and use the correct word around them but I am fast coming to the conclusion that the experts are fun-suckers and life-ruiners and have never even been in close proximity to a child, much less actually raised one. I can report that at 7, he now calls it a movie theater and a banana.

However, lip chap has now become lipstick.

He and I went to the grocery store together recently. I was looking for some hand soap for the bathroom, and he was looking at the Lip Smackers chapstick. So he asks me, "Big De, can I have some lipstick?"

I didn't notice what he was looking at at first. I hemmed and hawed and tried to figure out the best way to answer this without totally ruining his life and/or pissing off his biological parents. So I asked him, "Which one do you have in mind?"

Thankfully, he pointed not to Revlon's Luminous Pink, but to a 10-pack of Fanta flavored Lip Smackers. Which by the way was $10, does anyone remember when the 10 pack was like $5? Geesh.

So I told him I'd buy him a single thing but not a 10 pack. So he settled on the Dr. Pepper flavor (reminded me of my BFF who LOVED the Dr. Pepper flavored Lip Smackers, I was always more of a Cherry girl myself).

So we go on about our business of finishing up shopping and paying for the groceries and we're walking past the check-out lanes and out to the car. And he says in his normal (fairly loud) voice:

"Big De, Can I have my lipstick now?"

It was like time froze as the people in line, and the checkout people, AND the baggers all turned and looked at me. And I could see the wheels turning in their heads.

1. Who let's their kid call them by their first name?
2. Liberal hippie.
3. You bought your child lipstick?!?!
4. Freak.
5. You are all that is wrong with America today.
6. What's the number for CPS?

I just smiled at them and said to him, "When we get home and get the groceries put away, sweetie."

Bless their hearts....